Fr. Reuter’s three tips for a lasting marriage


Simple really, just three basic things.

1) “Let not the sun go down on your anger.”
Don’t sleep without settling a fight with your spouse.
In our 12 years of marriage, I can probably count on the fingers of one hand how many times Jeroen and I have slept in the middle of a fight. If he tries to sleep on me, I poke him until we resolve the problem.
Oh, and this a great thing I love to remind Jeroen. Father Reuter said, in case of a fight, the husband should say sorry first, hehe.

2) “Do not spend time alone with the opposite sex.”
It can cause gossip or grief to your spouse, among other things (use your imagination).
A married man or woman cannot be best friends with the opposite sex. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can go into a platonic relationship with the opposite sex if one or both of you are already committed.
This I’ve followed through the years. I don’t do coffee, lunch, or dinner alone with a man—unless they are gayer than springtime.
At that time, Facebook wasn’t invented yet, otherwise Father could’ve said, “Do not go Facebooking with your old flame.” As you know, lots of divorces are attributed to Facebook.

3) “Do not sleep on separate beds or lead separate lives in separate rooms.”
Meaning, if Brad Pitt is filming on location, Jennifer must come along.
Father expressed sadness over the OFW situation where many Filipinos leave their families to work abroad. Oftentimes, these overseas foreign workers carry on extramarital affairs while living abroad, resulting in destroyed marriages.


(CVS, I hope you don’t mind my sharing the list, but there’s one particular item I feel very strongly about and agree with. No amount of rationalizing can help assuage my anger if  any is invoked, when such a situation arises. I believe one’s spouse should be one’s best friend, one’s child or children should be one’s best friend. Not this, that, or any other cretin. Not even a so-called soulmate if he or she is from the opposite sex. Soulmate? Baloney.)
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4 thoughts on “Fr. Reuter’s three tips for a lasting marriage

  1. “Not even a so-called soulmate if he or she is from the opposite sex. Soulmate? Baloney.” ROFL! Ang pimples!

    Family psychologists might disagree with you on one point though: they say parents should have social circle / friends for emotional support instead of drawing it from their children (in effect, they can’t be best friends). Oh well, music major po ako. 😛

    • Hahaha, I know I am not my son’s best friend but I’d like him to think of me as his friend… and mother. Or if may billing (as in showbiz) problems, mother and friend… Demanding ba kung best friend? I know his wife will eventually be that and should be, maybe his girlfriend already is, I can live with that.

      As for soulmate, of course I thought of you when I used the word – as invoked by…

  2. That’s so true, TPS. Besides if it’s your spouse who’s antukin, you might be attempting to settle matters with someone who’s already in dreamland and that will peeve you even more. Number two is my favorite of the three tips.

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