Years back, I noticed that I was “losing” friends and my Christmas list was growing shorter. What a relief for the pocket but it did drive me to think, is there anything wrong with me? Then I’d stumble on quotes re friends and used them to rationalize my shorter list. The first one I posted here, “If you’re not losing friends then you’re not growing up” I found just yesterday and wow, if it’s true, this is the best rationalization yet. I have grown up.
The second is, I believe another good quote. Rationalizing, am I?
Years back, when my son was wondering where to go for summer job training, I wrote someone I thought was a true friend and asked for tips. He never answered my message. Unfriend. Really, I did that. A few years later, bumped into him in an affair of my older sister’s. I smiled at him but forgot about the “unfriend” deed. He ruefully looked at me and said something that alluded to that. Oh well, what is done is done, cannot be undone. He has a keen mind so I think he knew why the unfriend.
Last week, HHB was not too happy with the state of my pressure sore. Had husband look and he seemed to think so too. I asked, will it have to be debrided? Husband said something like “might” if we couldn’t get MEBO ointment which had been suspeneded (?) in the Philippines a few months ago. What to do?
a. Find some online. Ordered from Amazon but delivery to Johnny Air would take 1.5 months! Aghast, I decided to look at other possible sources. Found on ebay and ordered 3 tubes but am not sure the seller was for real. Have yet to hear from it after an initial mail. The one through Amazon is a seller from HK. He wrote and I asked if the thing couldn’t be shipped directly to the PHilippines. He said it would take longer. Whatever.
b. Decided to seek out friends who had connections abroad.
- my best friend since forever contacted her niece and nephew in Singapore. Niece is a doctor. She failed to find any.
- girlfriend of a good friend’s son. She’s also a doctor in Singapore. She promised to look. When I told her this pm that I had found MEBO, she still said she’d look as her parents are going there so she can send them over easily.
- a niece in the US who’s a nurse. She answered immediately and said it was unfamiliar. She asked that I send a photo of my sore so she could show her wound care colleagues. I said thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to see the sore. But how absolutely nice of her, right?
- the mother of the niece in the US. I wrote to thank her for raising such a wonderful human being and she said she too had looked for MEBO in Amazon.
- the daughter of a good friend who’s a nurse in New Zealand. Why NZ? I saw in google that MEBO is available in NZ. She said she’d be happy to help but I think she hasn’t had time yet to check things out. Update- last night I told her Mebo had become available here. Apparently she had done some research and asked if I wanted her to send what they use in NZ. Tonight I thanked her mom for having such a child and the mom said she’d ask her sister-in-law in the US what might help. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree apparently – two proofs in this post alone.
- a childhood friend who used to be my playmate at home. She’s now in Australia. She said I should get a prescription from the doctor.
- a newfound friend of several years who’s Dumaguete based. She’s one of the most sincere, concerned, helpful, etc. where my health is concerned. She googled for me, has asked her derma and pharmacist friends but without success. Really appreciate all she has done to keep me sane.
- a classmate from college. Saw him a few weeks ago in S&R. Talked with his wife while husband spoke to him. SO why did I seek his help? He was Shanghai based for over a decade. He has a son there. He has recovered from a stroke. I thought he’d be sympathetic. I sent him a message and nary a word came from him. Unfriend. Really. So very disappointed at the indifference/absence of a reaction.
So which quote re friendship is the more accurate?
I’d have to say, both.